Women

hi michael

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

Fire extinguishers are sexy.

I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Priority parking for hybrid cars

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

Reed is poopin

What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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