Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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Once upon a time.

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

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Cancer.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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you

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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Hi

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There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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