- Anti Joke

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

Why was the dog barking? No idea.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

whats white and gooy liguid goop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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