A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ugh good riddance

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Come In.......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you say when you see a winner weaner

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops