Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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