Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

get on your knees and make a donut face:)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

thumb_up thumb_down +28

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops