A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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