Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Jared Gough is a slut

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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Hashtag

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops