A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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Chuck Norris

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I only like NY as a friend.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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