What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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democracy

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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like for a handjob.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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