¿melano?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Google Doodles

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

alert("The Game");//

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops