What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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Romney 2012

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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240

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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