What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Women's sports

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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