call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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YOLO

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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