A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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I have no ideas.

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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A jew go out of a bar

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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