What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Women's sports

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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