Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

Knock Knock Come in

What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

YOLO

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

silly rabbit, rape is for babies

What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

Wanna hear a joke? My penis size.

whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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