What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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Barack Obama

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Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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