What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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who smells? •Liam

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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