A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +23

you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dear Board of education, so are we.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops