-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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Canada's army

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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I'm taken

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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