A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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weiner? balls

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

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OGC - tilt your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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