Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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