Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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World Peace

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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2

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Looks through the peephole.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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¿melano?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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