What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +12

BOOBIES!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops