A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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