Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A day without sunshine is like night.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +44

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Paul Dylan King!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops