roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Kittens.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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Jokes are funny.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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