What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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My mom just died....

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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