Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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ollie is a fag so are you

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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My Girlfriend

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops