Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Tim's gay.

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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