Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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stuff and dogs {()}

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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