How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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GONNA

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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womens rights!

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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