Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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minced oaths

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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I cant think of one (._. )

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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