I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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8============D PEN1S

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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