Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops