Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Women's Rights

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Write your own

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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