What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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dj miky

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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The horse's name was Friday

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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