How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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My sister has to take a dump

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Nah

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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