Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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96

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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666

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops