Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Real jokes.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Women's Golf

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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whats gay ? you

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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Yo mama so fat she died

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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