What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

What time is it? 12:03 AM

Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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yo momma is so tall shes tall

Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

Hitler is my role model

What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

World Of Warcraft

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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