Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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You're so straight!

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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nice shorts.

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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