What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Women

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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