How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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knock knock come in

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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your face.

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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