A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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