I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +62

minorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Women Drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two women were sitting in silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops