How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Brittney Spears

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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