Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

Wanna hear a joke womens rights

What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

French people

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

Anal cheese curds.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

Canada's army

how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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