What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

thumb_up thumb_down +37

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops