Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What should I name my dog?

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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Kittens.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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